1- "look back" and see how far you have come or
2- "look back" and see where you still struggle.
Tonight, I took time to "look back" and relive some of the past 5 years of my life. My heart soared as I read the entries surrounding my daughter's journey from foster care to adoption. I will never forget the day she became, "mine." I was able take a realistic look at the disappointments over the years: jobs that didn't end the way I wanted them to; a marriage that struggled long before I realized how bad it was; family members who were supposed to love and commit to our family but chose not to.
One thing I know for sure, Jesus was with me as I went through life over the past 5 years. He was there for all the tears. He was there rejoicing with me. He was there when I cried out because I couldn't understand, "Why me?"
Here is what I wrote on August 12, 2011
"What a blessing comes from old hymns. I've been listening to them for over an hour: Fairest Lord Jesus, Turn you eyes upon Jesus, My Jesus I love thee... all the amazing songs that shaped my personal faith. What I notice is that there is a common theme in all these old hymns. We are to seek God's face, not his hands."
Who knew that the songs of my childhood, would come to bring me such comfort as an adult. There is strength and power and peace in these songs. They remind us over and over again that he invites us to sit with Jesus and feel his love for us. That is where we find discernment in our choices. That is where we feel true joy. That is where complete contentment is found.
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=WYG7GPNX
Why is it that in 2014, I still struggle with this concept of finding myself in Christ? Why do I look to the things he is "doing around me" rather than resting in what is already done? I know my identity is in him but in the day to day living I seem to leave him out of the equation. Its only when I hit a rough patch that I can say I find HIM as my meaning and purpose. You would think after years of struggle that this would be engraved in my heart so much so that I automatically go to Jesus for every decision, every heartache and every worry. So for tonight, I will go to bed singing the name of Jesus.
Why is it that in 2014, I still struggle with this concept of finding myself in Christ? Why do I look to the things he is "doing around me" rather than resting in what is already done? I know my identity is in him but in the day to day living I seem to leave him out of the equation. Its only when I hit a rough patch that I can say I find HIM as my meaning and purpose. You would think after years of struggle that this would be engraved in my heart so much so that I automatically go to Jesus for every decision, every heartache and every worry. So for tonight, I will go to bed singing the name of Jesus.
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