It is Well with my Soul- written by Horatio Spafford and sung by Sam Robson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vG525x2mUTU&list=RDvG525x2mUTU

A favorite song of mine from my youth.  I remember being at a funeral when this song was played.  They shared the story of how the song was written.  You can read it here:

http://voices.yahoo.com/horatio-g-spafford-story-behind-hymn-is-1620793.html

During the funeral I watched a young mother say good-bye to her preschool child.  I felt the words to this song deeply.  I couldn't imagine how God could allow such heartache.  That mom would never be the same again. 

Someone challenged me this week about where God was in the midst of my life situation.  I told her the answer I have been giving everyone,"God is good and something good would come from this."  She continued to ask, "Where is your God in this?"  I couldn't understand the question fully.  I thought, "God is sovereign.  He is in control.  He is listening to my prayers and He feels my sorrow."  She explained, "God GAVE you this trial in your life." 

OUCH...  Why would HE give me this?  Couldn't He have gotten my attention in a less hurtful way?  I began to realize my defense mechanisms. I immediately began to come up with self justification- I have lived a fairly decent life.  I have followed most of the commandments and I have trusted Jesus to be my Savior.  Then came the truth, the prompting of the Holy Spirit: BUT I have not lived as though Jesus is my only salvation.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul. 
 

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!  

 

I don't know why I am where I am.  But what I do know is that I have never been more aware of what Jesus did for me on the cross. He literally gave his blood for me.  He gave himself to suffering, shame, all for my sins.  He took my sinfulness, all of my sinfulness, my self justification, my selfishness, my shame and turned it into something for his glory. 

 

I can completely trust Him to take this journey and weave it together for good.  His goodness... His glory... His purpose.