Hillsong Live - Forever Reign

You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin-  There was a time about 6 months ago, when all I could do was cry through this song at church.  I couldn't see any good in me or in my situation.  It was a dark place and I clung to the hope... that's all I had... the HOPE THAT HE HAD COVERED ALL MY SIN.

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost its sting-  Then there was a beginning of a shift, maybe at 2 months.  In spending late nights and early mornings alone with God, I began to feel His peace and presence.  I had no trouble believing that he was true because I had been taught that all my life but was he "REALLY" true?  In my situation I had a choice to make, would I cling to his truth or would I wander?  I can say I didn't feel the joy and I definitely didn't feel like singing. 

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go-  Fast forward to April, and I could at least sing this song... at least parts.  I knew that God was more than I could ever put into words... I was living proof that he was sustaining me on a moment by moment basis.  I was learning that his presence was real in my life and I was beginning to see glimpses of healing.  He was making me whole.  The "letting go" part was hard, but at that point, I didn't have another choice. 

Oh, I’m running to Your arms
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign-  No matter the circumstance, I clung to what I knew... Jesus.  I clung to people who were Jesus to me.  They were there on day one and they are here now.  It has come full circle in that now 6 1/2 months later, I am slowly moving on.  I am learning to live, to live outside my safety zone, to pick up the pieces and to begin to live.  In the last week, I have made some grown up decisions.  But instead of fretting about it, there is peace.... at least most of the time.  When the fretting does make its way into my heart, I can sing the next part....

My heart will sing
no other Name
Jesus, Jesus-  Life isn't always a bed of roses.  Some days stink. Some days go by with little emotion.  Some days are filled with a new emotion... joy.  But no matter what, I want to always sing... Jesus... Jesus. Now when we sing this song at church, I'm the one crying like a baby... but its because I see the hand of God moving me through each stanza of this verse.  It fluctuates, just like grief does... denial, acceptance, anger, bargaining... I can be all over the place... but as long as my heart can sing Jesus, I will be ok.