Jeremy Camp - He Knows (Acoustic)

I am a "glass half empty" kind of girl.  Call it what you want, and place the blame on anyone or anywhere... I just tend to see the negative in a situation.  It can be debilitating at times.  It is in those times, of negativity, of self pity and of depression that I see my thoughts change from the blessings of God to the ugly mindset of "woe is me" and it affects those I love the most.  Complaining is not attractive to anyone and how many times do I complain about people who complain because they fail to see how God is working in their lives?

I am currently doing a Bible study with a group of ladies from church.  "Lord Change my Attitude" by James McDonald.  It delves into attitudes that we have that aren't as attractive to those around us but even more convicting those attitudes that turn our hearts away from God and onto the idols of ourselves.  Guess what the first topic was... you guessed it... complaining.

We are looking at the Israelites in the desert where they complain... A LOT.  They complain because they are hungry.  They complain because they are thirsty.  They whine because they want meat instead of manna.  Whine, whine, whine.  God gets tired of their whining and complaining and in the end there is a consequence for that attitude of complaining.  The older generation do not get to see the Promised Land.  He causes them to wander around the desert for years and finally He allows the children to enter that land.

As I go through this study, I see my negative spirit, my complaining attitude and where it rears its ugly head.  One of the activities is to ask God to reveal insights in our life about complaining attitudes.  So here goes... here is my take away... here it is word for word what I learned on this day....

I complain... a lot.  I don't realize it when it is clothed in sarcasm or as a joke but it is still grumbling/ complaining.  God has provided a new life for us apart from the trials of the past year yet I get bogged down in the past.  I believe God is faithful and good and I have really experienced in the last year.  I tend to be a sarcastic complainer when I feel the loss of control and when I am trying to "fit in" but I know those aren't effective.  It takes a piece of my security in Christ when I place my identity in anything other than Him.  Complaining and gossiping go hand in hand in my life and I need to be more aware of how words I say as well as complaining in my spirit which serves as self pity.  Wow this is a big challenge to work on. I will need moment by moment wisdom as well as accountability from loved ones to see this in myself.  

As I listened to this song on the radio, it reminded me that He already knows my situation.  He knows my burden, he knows my suffering, he knows how much my heart aches... why do I feel the need to grumble and complain?  He's been there, He's walked this road, He is there.  He is walking this road with me.

"God help me to put my hope in you and not focus on the negative.  Rather help me to focus on the fact that you know it all.  You've got this covered.  Like you provided for the Israelites, you provide for me."