Running by Klaus Kuehn [Lyrics Onscreen]

This spring has been different than any other spring I have ever encountered.  Today, as I sat on my deck and read a book I realized why.

Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.  See!  The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.  Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.  The fig tree forms its early fruit;; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.  Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.  Song of Solomon 2:10-13

Its true in my personal life.  I feel like the winter- barren, cold, isolated- is melting in my heart.  I've weathered a tough storm but I am beginning to see the rebirth of spring- warm and bright, filled with awe and wonder as newness is all around me.  

I hear the voice, the one that I love,

He's calling my name.

I hear the voice, the one that I love

He's calling my name.

Come up higher and hear the angels singing

Come up higher my beloved.

Come up higher and leave this world behind

Fine me to be beautiful.

It is my prayer that others will be drawn to my Beloved.  Not because of who I am or how I have stumbled through life during the winter of my life but because they see His goodness upholding me through it all.  

Today is the Day - Lincoln Brewster (with lyrics)

Often, I find myself blogging about struggles or battles within myself.  Today has a different vibe.  I feel really good... like amazingly good....think sunshine and rainbows good.  It is a feeling that I've experienced far too little of over the past year.    I've thought long and hard about my feelings and I think the answer lies in the activities and people I have surrounded myself in this week-end.  Its been a busy week-end in which  I've served others and spent some time being intentional with those around me.  I believe surrounding myself with others has been an extension of the healing in my heart that has taken place over the past several months.  I love this quote:

I don't say this to brag or to puff myself up with pride.  In fact, I fear that one day life will go back to serving, caring and loving others will feel like an obligation rather than an opportunity.  I've learned that life isn't about WHAT we DO because we can't earn God's love or favor.  Life is about WHY we DO it.  When our eyes are on our Savior our hearts desire changes WHAT we do to WHY we do it.

 

How Can It Be - Lauren Daigle

The simplicity of the Gospel...

"You gave your life, to give me mine.  

You say that I am free 

How can it be?"

As I sit here early on this morning, I have a lot to think about, both things to be thankful for and questions to ponder.  I wonder, what kind of love gives up His own life so that I can live in freedom from my sin and the law?  What kind of person am I because of that freedom?  Am I a Christian that shows others the goodness of God- full of life and grace and peace?  Am I a Christian that demonstrates the solemn and serious side of God that so often points others to the laws? 

Unfortunately, I am far too often, the latter of the two.  I believe in the Resurrection and in the freedom it gives but I don't truly live in that freedom.  I am content following a list of dos and don'ts in my day to day life.  I think belief in that freedom and living in that freedom can be two very different things.  

Though I fall you can make me new

from this death I will rise with you

Oh the grace reaching out for me

How Can it Be?

Oh, to be a woman who lives in the freedom of the cross; to understand that I am loved and accepted far more than I can comprehend; to believe that His grace is sufficient; to find joy- true joy; to accept his forgiveness for the times when I don't believe and to forgive myself for that doubt.  

You Were on the Cross - Matt Maher

This day 2000 years ago had to be one of agony for a small group of men and women.  The day before, Jesus had just been crucified.  He had been tried for crimes He had not committed, taunted by people who had just celebrated him a few days before, tortured by a group of soldiers and taken off the cross and put into a tomb.  What was the mindset of the disciples and the other followers?  We know Peter denied knowing Jesus.  We know Thomas doubted Jesus had been raised from the grave.  But what about the others?  Were they silent?  Were they weeping loudly?  Were they together or did they each go their own way?  Did even one of them anticipate the third day when Jesus would rise from the grave?  I believe they were so deep in their own grief, they couldn't remember Jesus' teachings or promises of the Resurrection.

This song reminds me of what they might be singing or at least thinking on this Silent Saturday.  It is definitely the words in my heart a year ago.  

Lost, everything is lost

and everything I've loved before is gone.

Alone like the coming of the frost

and cold winter's chill in my stony heart.

And where were you when all that I hoped for?

Where were you when all I've dreamed?

came crashing down in shambles around me?

You were on the cross.   

When we are in the depths of sorrow and loss, it's easy to question God.  I can remember crying out, "Where are you in this God?"  For me, I wasn't doubting God as sovereign or what was doing, or even if He was "in it."  I knew he was there with me.  But to make sense of it was impossible.  I didn't doubt God in what I was going through but I questioned why it had to be that way.

In that way, I am like the group that followed Jesus 2000 years ago.  I can almost hear them saying, "We were with you.  You performed miracles.  We believed you were the Son of God who was going to be King and save us all.  Where are you in this?"  Thankfully Easter Sunday answers all those lingering questions.

You were on the cross.

You died for us.

Victorious.

You were there in all of my suffering

You were there in doubt and in fear

I'm waiting on the dawn to reappear.  

As I look to tomorrow and remember the dawn of the Resurrection, I am thankful it happened 2000 years ago to that small band of dedicated followers.  I am also thankful that my God has done it in my life as well.  He has been victorious in my life and brought me out of the despair I felt a year ago.